How To Win At Office Gift-Giving This Year (Or: How To Get Fired This Christmas Season)

November 28, 2019

How To Win At Office Gift-Giving This Year (Or: How To Get Fired This Christmas Season)

There two kinds of people in this world… 

Those who are amaaaazing at giving gifts, and, well, everyone else.

We don’t know about you, but the gifts that cause us the most stress are the ones you have to get for people who aren’t super close friends or family.

AKA. Your boss. Your clients. Your team members.

via GIPHY

These days, most workplaces have adopted the white elephant philosophy, which removes some of that stress. And we’ve already got a whole white elephant gift guide for you to check out.

But even if you have some sort of group situation, you often need or want to get individual gifts anyway.

And this year,  we think you might want to have a little bit of fun with that. ;)

via GIPHY

We’re not going to tell you to get your boss a pop-up can full of snakes, or a glitter bomb, or sneak a whoopie cushion onto her office chair. (When we said “get fired,” we were KIDDING, you guys.)

And we don’t think pranking your favorite client, or blowing off your super hardworking team, is a great idea either.

So go ahead, get those fancy 2020 planners. Bake ‘em some cookies. Let the Target gift cards fly!

But before you wrap them, make sure you package them in a suuuper messed up gift box.

Here’s what we mean… 

For the wine lover:

Cool gift idea: One free month from a wine-by-the-month subscription. Unlike Clark Griswold’s cheapo boss who replaces all the company bonuses with Jelly of The Month subscriptions, your gift will super duper appreciated!

Turn it into a prank: Print out some material from the subscription you’ve chosen (and there are a lot now!) and wrap it in this ‘wine nanny’ box. Ten bucks says they’ll think it’s real. 

 Buy on Amazon

 

For the person who’s afraid of spiders / loves them:

 

Cool gift idea: If you know someone who’s really into spiders, why not try two tickets to your local science museum? Or maybe, like, some therapy… 

Turn it into a prank: OMG, imagine how thrilled a spider-lover would be about a spider terrarium. (That actually makes the prank even funnier.)

If your recipient HATES spiders, though, then a) you’re kinda mean, aren’t you? 😉and b) just get them something really awesome (a professional house cleaning, a gift card to a nice restaurant, a book you know they’d love), but package it in this box. 

Chances are they’ll know it’s a goof right away—just make sure they don’t have a legit phobia. You don’t want to send anyone to the hospital here.

 Buy on Amazon

 

For the cocktail aficionado / Most Likely To Drink In The Shower:

Cool gift idea: If you’ve got a colleague who’s into spirits, there are SO MANY amazing gifts to choose from. Gift cards to cocktail bars. Recipe decks. Mixing kits. Specialty garnishes and/or mixers. And of course, you know, booze.

Turn it into a prank: Our margarita shower machine box got so many bad Amazon reviews from people who thought it was real, it kinda went viral

But if you’re really committed to this joke box idea, most of these cocktail-related gifts won’t fit. In these situations, we’re big fans of the “bait and switch” gift. That’s when you wrap the joke box with just maybe a card inside, watch the perplexed reaction, then pull the REAL gift out from under your desk or whatever. Priceless. 

 Buy on Amazon

 

For the person who’s engaged, recently married, or just starting to date again:

Cool gift idea: For established couples, consider gifting them a romantic night in. Hire a chef to come in and cook them a fancy meal. Get them a gift card for that high-end specialty food store they’d never shop at on their own. Pick up a couple’s card game with thoughtful (sexy?)  questions and prompts.

For the newly dating, think escape room, dinner & a movie, or a cooking class. Something fun and engaging they can do together, that eases that first-date pressure.

Turn it into a prank: What’s the opposite of sweet, innocent fun? A “home branding kit,” which may or may not be illegal in some states (if it were real, of course). 

This is peak gag gifting, people—be sure to film the reaction if you can. (PS, choose your audience carefully on this one; it could be triggering to certain people.) 

 Buy on Amazon

 

There’s nothing as hilarious as watching someone open a gag gift. It’s just SO. AWKWARD. Then they realize they’ve been punked, and try to act all graceful and good-sport-y about it, all the while hiding how pissed they are that you didn’t pony up for a real gift. 

Too much. 🤣

Then—whammo! They discover that you DID give them an awesome gift, all along! #worthit

Good luck out there this season. (Also—please don’t get fired. When in doubt, just give the damn gift.)

And from our family to yours, happy holidays. 🎄🔥☃️🍷🍷🍷❄🎅

via GIPHY



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