Nothing Says I love you more than toilet paper roll
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November 14, 2019
Fun fact: the term “white elephant” is thought to originate from the King of Siam (now Thailand), where white elephants were once given as status symbols, but eventually came to represent an extravagant, impractical gift that no one really wanted.
(Think about that next time you want to complain about that dish towel you never use—it could be an elephant.)
White Elephant gift exchanges—a.k.a. Yankee Swap, a.k.a. Dirty Santa—are all the rage these days, to our delight and horror.
Here’s a refresher on how it works:
*Not everybody uses that last rule, but we think it’s only fair. And it makes things a heck of a lot more interesting.
By this time, you’ve probably been to your fair share of these holiday shindigs—and picking a gift that’s original, funny, and—gasp!—actually appreciated, can get pretty difficult after a while.
That’s why we’ve pulled together our absolute best White Elephant ideas. All are under $25, most are giggle-inducing, and ALL of them are 100% original.
Have at it, dirty Santas!
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Everyone at the office will fight over the paperweight with a literal F-bomb on it. It’s useful AND hilarious, AND it lets everyone know where the workplace pottymouth sits.
WHO DOESN’T LOVE UNICORNS? WHO DOESN’T USE TOILET PAPER?
‘Nuf said. (Also, this is actually a great present for your coworkers that have little kids.)
File under “gifts that are actually super useful and valuable.” 120 assorted cards for all occasions (birthdays! babies! sympathy! get well soon! thanks! you got married!). People will be fighting over this one for realz.
Get a gift that’s actually awesome, like a great book, a Target gift card, or a collection of artisan chocolates… but package it in one of these highly inappropriate boxes.
No one will want the “spider terrarium,” and the unlucky schmo that gets stuck with it will be royally pissed—until they get home and realize they secretly won Christmas. ;)
Margarita shower dispenser
Home branding kit
We all know coloring can reduce anxiety and inspire a sense of happiness and calm. And you know what else can do that? WINE. This coloring book is what we call ‘the best of both worlds.’
A bathroom guest book that asks questions like “Did you check your butt on the way out?” and “How do you prefer to hang your toilet paper?” is like, the definition of a novelty gift.
Hallelujah, it’s raining men! Amen. 👼
No more fry spillage for you, my friend! This plastic fry container fits in your cupholder to keep your fries (and your phone, and your keys, and whatever else you want to put in there) safe and secure. Pair with a fast-food gift card for an even better gift!
This 4.25” x 5.5” notepad is the perfect size for grocery lists, notes to self, phone messages, and rando to-do lists. Each sheet comes with a snarky message so everyone knows how you REALLY feel.
Nothing says “I went to a white elephant party” like this flip book of tired office humor (think, “no coffee no workee,” and “I hate Mondays”) coupled with goofy animal pics. You’re welcome.
For reasons we’ll never understand, this is one of our most popular items. 🤷
Coloring books are actually a legit gift—people will actually use them, and if they don’t, there’s some decent regifting potential there. This book celebrates body positivity, cat people, and laziness. We think it is, you know, the cat’s meow. (Sorry.)
Okay… here we go!
Happy holidays, ya filthy animals. :)
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March 26, 2020
Let’s get right into it. There are a lot of… unforeseen side effects of a global health crisis.
Like, when you’re the CFO of a medium-sized startup company, but then you have to work from home, and also teach 2nd grade. Or when the catering manager of a large grocery store chain suddenly becomes a first responder, because grocery stores are CRAZY TOWN right now.
There’s a lot going on right now, and much of it is pretty grim. As usual, Seymour Butz is here to provide a bit of levity in an otherwise serious time.
March 12, 2020
March 05, 2020
Hooray! Your friend(s) recently purchased a new home! And boooo — that means you have to pick out ANOTHER housewarming present. Do your top three ideas involve plants, candles, artisan bread, and/or a bottle of wine?
So we did you a favor and pulled together 7 hilarious housewarming gift ideas that NO ONE else will think of.