"I Love The Sh*t Outta You" and Other Nice Things to Say to Your Boo This Valentine's Day

January 24, 2020

Ah, Valentine’s Day.

It’s sweet (literally). 💋

It’s romantic. 🏹

It’s a made-up holiday. 💖💕❤️

However you feel about V-Day, it IS nice to set aside some time to shower your significant other with love and appreciation—even if we need a Hallmark holiday to force us into it.

But like any holiday (made-up or otherwise), Valentine’s Day comes with a lot of expectations: fancy candlelit dinners, thoughtful presents, sexy lingerie…  

There’s nothing wrong with any of those things (especially if that fancy candlelit dinner includes a molten chocolate cake) — but it can all feel very… 


And you know how we feel about taking things too seriously… 


Love CAN BE sweet and romantic—and yes, serious at times—but plenty of relationships are ALSO full of good-natured teasing, and dirty jokes, laughing so hard your abs get sore.

These gifts are for you. 😘😘😘

“Damn Boo, You Fine” Teddy Bear

Awww! See, this is the ideal combination of sweet & sassy. A cute, cuddly teddy bear that ALSO has a flirty lil’ message. (And it’s safe to leave out in case company comes over, unlike some other things on this list. ;) )

 Buy on Amazon


… it also comes in a keychain! 


 Buy on Amazon


“I Love the 💩 Outta You” TP Roll

Surprise him during his morning “reading time” with this cheeky toilet paper (see what we did there?) In addition to a surprise expression of love in a place he least expects in (omg we can’t stop) — you get the added bonus of making him search around for the “real” toilet paper when he’s done poopin. 

 Buy on Amazon


I Want A Pizza Dat Ass

Suggest a casual night in with pizza and a movie, and offer to pick up the pizza on your way home from work. Leave the pizza in the car, and when your significant other asks, “Where’s the pizza?” give them this. 😂

But then you should go get the actual pizza out of your car, or it’ll smell like pizza for the rest of the week.

 Buy on Amazon


“I DIG YOU” Shovel Keychain

This one is perfect if your relationship is too new for poop jokes (oh, the fun that awaits you!). It’s cute, it’s flirty, and it’s actually something they can use.

 Buy on Amazon


Blowjob Token

Hey-yo! Things just got steamy. This 1.5” token comes in a velvet bag so he won’t know what it is ‘til he opens it. Plus, as one of our lady customers pointed out, “It’s better quality than I expected it to be.” Lol.

 Buy on Amazon


“I Love Getting Nailed By You” Hammer

Remind your man what a man he is by inserting your insatiable desire for him into his manly hammering time. 

(PSA: Women hammer — and nail — things too.) 

 Buy on Amazon

However you decide to celebrate Valentine’s Day this year, we hope it makes you happy!

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